There is a lot of focus on weight when getting fit. I’m not saying it’s a horrible thing, but if you are like me it can become a bit of an obsession. You read all the time about the awesome extra motivators you can do to push yourself too. For every pound you lose you put a dollar in a jar, and once you are at your goal weight that turns into new clothes money. Or give yourself little rewards for every weight milestone you hit. I have a list like this- 10 pounds manicure, 20 new sneakers, etc. Again there is nothing wrong with this kind of motivation. But I started to have some bad habits.
I wasn’t weighing myself everyday, but I was doing it twice a week, which wasn’t helping me. Don’t get me wrong; I love Aria scale by Fitbit. Plus I still have a goal weight in mind. But I was a woman obsessed, weight obsessed. If I wasn’t on track the way I wanted to be on Tuesday when I weighed myself, I told myself I better have my shit together by Saturday. Then we have a Biggest Loser contest at work. It’s just $10 to join, and then each week you pay $1 if you gain or miss a weigh in. I was literally in fear of the scale. We weigh in is on Fridays, and so on Thursday night I wouldn’t want to eat anything. Friday morning I would be sweating and gagging on my way to work. Completely freaked out and nervous. If I lost weight I would be so proud of myself I would reward myself with food. Which if you have ever talked to any person from any fitness or weight loss plan, they tell you not to use food as a reward. If I did terrible I would be miserable. I mean a really nasty pain in the ass. First I would pick if I was going to starve myself all day punishment, or say screw it and binge eat until I felt so sick I couldn’t move. Then it would take me until Sunday to get myself back on track. The entire time I would be really nasty and negative towards myself, and towards those around me. Any progress I had made, or positive views of myself were out the window. When my mom would tell me not to eat something because I would be ruining my hard work, I was make some smart comment about wanting to be fat or I would tell her it was my cheat day (all the while it was actual a weekend bender). I realized this was something I had always had a problem with. When I did Weight Watchers, if I had a bad weigh in I couldn’t stay for a meeting because I would be too upset. I used to immediately weigh myself in after every meeting, on another scale or my Wii at home. Constantly looking at the weight charts, or my weigh in card. The number was the most important thing to me. So I realized it was time to break my issue with the scale after a 10 year struggle.
I needed to change the way I thought and felt about the scale. It was ruining my days and I wasn’t making progress. With all these new positive groups I was a part of (Lettuce, Fitgirls, and my Workweek Hustle) I was enjoying the no body shaming zones. So I told myself I wouldn’t weigh myself again at home until after my 28-Day Jumpstart (which doesn’t end until May 16th). Then I have begun weighing in backwards at work for the Biggest loser, I know if I lost or gained but I don’t know how much. Not only is my stress level down my emotions are better. When someone says, “Wow you look like you’re doing great!” I can just answer, “Thank you!”, instead of “Well actually I gain a pound and I am a fat mess.” Also my focus in on how I feel on the inside and my non-scale victories. I have been having more energy, been trying new healthy recipes, and really pushing myself to be active everyday. A mini non-scale victory was when my co-workers said the time has come to buy a belt and new pants. My pants have begun to all fall down. There is more weight I want to lose so I didn’t want to go on a shopping spree, but being able to fit both arms in my pants( not in the weird way) was awesome. A pre-blog victory was completing the 15k, I felt so proud of myself that I did it. I want to try more things, and set new goals for myself physically that have nothing to do with the scale.
Now I weighed in at work, and I apparently gained. I was backwards so I don’t know how much. It didn’t both me as much as it would have in the past. There was that nagging feeling, but I pushed it aside. I focused on the weekend and week ahead of me. Even better pre weigh in, I wasn’t gagging or freaking out. My at home scale will stay in the box until May 16th. Even after that, weigh ins will be limited. I think I will always have a goal weight, and I understand the health connections to weight. But I think I am finally tipping the scale in my favor. It is now a health tool, instead of an enemy or an unhealthy obsession.
So next week I will be posting my 5 off scale goals for the rest of 2016. These will be things I know are obtainable by January 1st. Also I will be making a Fitness Five Bucket List. Which is basically a bucket list of 5 things I want to complete in my lifetime fitness wise. So any ideas or suggestions?